Expectation Vs Agreement Steve Chandler
Clear questionsSo – how can we reach a good agreement? We begin with the development of a clear concern. I rely on Marshall Rosenberg`s approach to nonviolent communication (NVC) to get a clear request. In this model, we take the time to reflect on what we observe, feel, and need in a particular situation to fully understand what our request is. In some conversations, it is important to address all the elements aloud; in others, we need internal clarity about what we recognize, feel, and need, but we can answer the question more directly. Ah, that`s it! Although I saw my expectation, I was caught up in the emotions of fear and worry and forgot that I could ask a question. With this encouraging memory, once our call was over, I contacted the person I needed and asked to be included in the group and explained my thoughts. Within minutes, we reached an agreement, and everything was done. I felt listened to, appreciated, authorized. I left the victim. Throughout the month before the completion of the first project, I performed the same “agreement exercise” with several other managers and each delivered.
To make my point, I`m going to tell you a brief story about how you make a deal while seeing communication as what exactly it was – I want someone to do what I needed. It`s not long and I don`t expect you to read it, but if you do, I think I can imagine a more effective way for you to manage your relationships at the hotel – maybe even at home. If you can go in that direction, you will be a more effective leader and people will love you more. There is a popular proverb in America, despised by the slogan for a chain of donuts and coffee: “America Runs on Dunkin”. In this piece, I`ll write about another thing where our Western culture is even more than coffee and donuts, and anyone`s expectations. And just like coffee and especially donuts, the expectations are really bad for you. One thing I appreciate about questions is their two-way permission. Remember that a question is a step towards an agreement and there must be room to negotiate. Otherwise, especially if you have a position or authority in a situation, a question is just a verbalized expectation. We strengthen ourselves when we ask questions. .